I’m sitting in a classic college town bar and restaurant in Dallas just across the street from Southern Methodist University. And something important is happening inside me. I’m feeling a reconciliation, and I’m hopeful.
Tonight, I’ll be happy to root on an unlikely team – the Duke Blue Devils. I’ll be rooting for the team, but specifically for a young woman I met about two years ago who unknowingly would help me reconcile a part of my life that didn’t go to plan.
When I was 18, I optimistically arrived at Auburn University as a top recruit ready to make an impact on the women’s soccer team. I was proud to be a Division I scholarship athlete and had high hopes. But things did not turn out the way I wanted. A new coach arrived, not the one who recruited me, and I was not in the plan. Whatever my own faults, the coaches treated me without regard waiting for me to leave so they could move my hard-earned scholarship funds into their new plans. I had a terrible freshman season and it took everything I had to be a good team member and root for my teammates from the bench.
Things only got worse for me and I lived through the worst, most horrific chapter of my life at Auburn. That story is for another day. But I walked away with a deep pain from soccer, the sport that gave me life. And I walked away in ruins from a university that did not protect me.
Today, I am stronger and more powerful than Auburn could have ever made me. And I made peace with soccer starting anew and then ending my playing days in a stint for Oxford that made beautiful memories on the field I’ll hold onto forever. Now, I follow as many leagues around the globe as I possibly can and the sport gives me tremendous joy and the usual disappointment when your team doesn’t live up to the hype.
And yet, it’s always been hard to know that when I was at my most vulnerable on the field and off at Auburn, I was not cared for, not protected.
Two years ago, Yuna walked into my life and into my home. Yuna is the niece of a dear friend from my UK days. She travelled from Japan to California to live with me and learn English. She wanted to do her own courageous thing and walk away from a professional soccer career in Japan to play college soccer in America. I admired her drive, was (slightly envious) and proud of her accomplishments on the Japanese youth national team, even playing in the U-17 Women’s World Cup for her country.
Throughout our time in California together, she worked on her English and brought light and joy into my life making beautiful memories of whale watching in Santa Barbara, Bay FC games in San Jose, and attending opening week of Shohei Ohtani playing for the Dodgers…and hitting a home run.
While with me, I became her default parental figure and that meant speaking with college coaches from across the country who wanted Yuna to visit and play soccer. I took her on official and unofficial visits and knew she had a bright future ahead. After visiting a school that was unimpressive to her, I sat her on a beautiful hill overlooking campus with a snack in hand telling her to take in the moment. We were on a beautiful and prestigious university campus knowing that tens of thousands (and possibly more) hopeful high schoolers would dream for the school to want them. And they wanted Yuna…even if it was not a fit.
On that hillside, I recalled how I proudly listened in as parents at soccer exhibitions wondered where this phenomenal Asian star came from?! I told her what I saw on the field - a composed, confident, and skilled player, a joy of the beautiful game. I wanted her to really feel the fruits of her labor. It was her commitment, hard work, determination, skill, and intellect that brought her the fortune of a world with what seemed like endless possibilities. It was a quiet moment on that hillside, a big disappointing from the visit, and yet optimistic for the world that was opening up for her.
And still, I was incredibly nervous for her thinking about all the experiences she might have in college, hoping to good God that she wouldn’t have any of mine. I was protective in a way that I wish someone at Auburn would have been for me.
And on this recruiting journey as an adult, I encountered coaches who I now consider friends. They rooted for her, supported her dreams, and truly cared about her as a human being. In their eyes, they knew she was so much more than her soccer skills. They cared for her in all the ways I yearned years ago to be cared for (and wasn’t) in Auburn. And most importantly, in the bumps along the way they protected her. They protected her in a way that helped me reconcile my own story.
And now, Yuna has landed, and launched, as a freshman and regular starter for Duke Blue Devils women’s soccer team. She plays a critical role on a talented team contending for the national title this season. I’ve been following the team online, and today, I get to see her again in person.
I’ll do my best to not embarrass Yuna in front of her coach, my childhood idol, Carla Overbeck. I’m wearing Blue Devil gear, and I’m determined to be the loudest Duke fan in all of Dallas tonight.
And I’ll get to meet Yuna again for the first time. No longer the timid English-restrained college soccer hopeful. Today, she is a young woman with as much confidence in her English as she’s always had in her soccer. And once again, I’ll be able to enjoy women’s college soccer, something I haven’t really followed since it all went wrong for me.
Tonight is my new chapter of the beautiful college game, and I’m so grateful to Yuna for bringing me back to it.
