He owes me nothing.
He owes me nothing. But I wanted him to respond. He has not. The tall, handsome man I met in an abaya shop in Doha more than caught my attention. He was attentive to the moment, present in speaking with his mother, and just had a real distinctive look about him.
In the moment I thought, if I lived here, we’d be friends. With a head of school hat on, the more he talked, the more I thought, “Oh, I’d hire him in a second.”
We connected. We have worked for the same philanthropist and exchanged numbers. We texted and then it stopped. And then the war started. Yes, it is a war even if the President acted without Congress declaring war. It is war and a war the American and Israeli leaders started it. They unofficially renamed the Department of Defense to now be the new Department of War. Defense is about reacting to aggression when someone else started something first. Now, we are on the offensive regardless of what word salad comes out of their mouths.
But he was kind and now not responding. And I’m sitting here thinking. What do you say to someone who lives in what was a safe, lively place turned war zone. Is Doha in the war zone? I think it is considering their military has been forced to use anti-missile technology to shoot down bombs from Iran.
So he lives in a warzone but he’s from peaceful Canada. Or is he? His mother is from another country the US bombed in the 1990s and his family was forced to flee. He told me he’d never been to the land of his mother’s birth; perhaps it has never been safe since the US military intervention. And I’m no expert in knowing about that particular US military campaign – there have been so many campaigns in my four decades…I know the basics and fear that my knowing the basics is more than most Americans. How else could so many people continue to support our military “excursions” as they’re now calling them on NPR. Excursion sounds like a nice day in the mountains, maybe a hike, maybe a trip to an amusement park or a stroll through a town I never visited before. I google “excursion.” The Oxford Learner’s Dictionary comes up first.
Excursion noun
“A short journey made for pleasure, especially one that has been organized for a group of people.”
Excursion? Come on NPR. These are wars where innocent people die and little girls are buried to death in their elementary school (see last week’s post).
But seriously, can you imagine? I don’t know him but for one small interaction but just imagine. Imagine your lived experience as a person who knows you are Canadian because there was violence that threatened your mother’s existence. You have a backstory and family history that ties your soul to another home that you have not visited. Your mother was fortunate enough to find refuge in Canada. You grow up Canadian. You do everything “right.” You are now an adult working for a highly reputable educational institution. You are a poster child for the potential benefit of welcoming refugees and immigrants. You have lived a safe existence. And now, in the safety of Doha, you are threatened again. Your safety is in question…And even though you are on a different continent that the one of your mother’s birth, there is one common denominator – the US military. I mean, seriously. This story feels like stalking. It is just too heavy.
In any case especially this one, I want to live a fully human existence and connect with people who I know I connected with. We exchanged numbers because I have some work experience he wanted to learn from and I knew I could learn from him too.
But I’ve ruminated on this enough. It’s awkward and I’m sorry. I will text him once again – not for some hope of anything other than one human being caring about the safety and well-being of another. I hope he and all his colleagues are safe; these are people just like me who care for and educate children and young people every day.
In America, educational administrators are forced to worry about intruders who might shoot up schools, students who might carry weapons into school, or ICE invading to kidnap their students. Now regarding Doha, I mustn’t be the only person worried that a bomb might obliterate a school. All because the US Department of “War” now wants to talk about “defense.”
And now, even as I sit and know when I travel abroad, I experience local people who do not judge me by my government’s actions (just as they do not want to be judged by the inadequacies of their own governments). And yet, I still feel embarrassed by and helpless in stopping these “excursions” no, in stopping these military bombing campaigns.
And I want to share with folks outside of education just how much those of us in schools are forced to fear and worry about safety…and safety in so many cases where the threats could be eliminated by powerful people if only they had cool heads with decent levels of emotional intelligence and empathy. If only…
He owes me nothing. But I hope he is safe.
He owes me nothing. But my country owes him safety.
